This is an example of a ‘break-up letter’ I wrote for a playful writing exercise at the Exploring Design Professions internship course at Kolding School of Design 2024. We used the familiar method of break-up letters and love letters to explore both what we hate and love about writing, what makes writing deeply challenging and profoundly meaningful.
Here’s my break-up letter:
Dear writing,
Who could have known it would come to this? We used to be so good together, you and I. You were, truly, the love of my life. You were always there for me, and out of respect, I will try to be honest with you now. I certainly hope to avoid that dreadful ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ cliché.
Because it is you. It really is.
You demand too much of me. It is too hard to live up to your wild expectations, expectations I have all too often mistaken for my own. Every day, you ask me to do better, to be better, to achieve so much more than my limited skills allow, to go so much farther than my tired old feet will take me.
You ask me to trust you indiscriminately, to go with the flow of your words, to be present, vulnerable and fragile, to admit how inadequate I feel, to share my secrets.
I cannot do that, not anymore.
I am too tired now, I’m getting older, my energy is not what it was. I need another hobby, a more relaxing way to spend my time.
And I haven’t even mentioned the often-intimidating task of writing in academia. I mean, who are those peer reviewers that every so often tear my writing apart? Who ask me to write differently, to make stronger, more coherent arguments and to be precise?
While they can be harsh and critical, those pesky reviewers, you have made me my own worst critic. Under your influence, I have come to question every word, every single little gathering of letters that appear on the screen. Is this the right word? Is that the right word? What does it even mean? And does it truly express what I hope to say?
This is no way to live, it’s too uncertain, too exhausting, and that’s why this is over, why it must be over. We came as far as we could, you and I.
I will admit, a doubt lingers in my mind, are we just taking a pause, putting our relationship on hiatus, or are we done with each other for good?
Who knows. The future remains unseen, but at least for now, I refuse to write another word. It’s just too hard. Maybe I’ll hook up with woodworking instead.
Yours truly,
Mathias,
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